One of the best parts about working at a camp is that it allows you to meet some pretty amazing and creative people. It’s the people that keep you coming back year after year, and those relationships and time spent laughing, with all your inside jokes and late night discussions, are what keep you all the way until the following summer. Continue reading “Spotlight Blog: Ellen at the Corner”
Sometimes my own ability to do impossible things astounds me. The fact that I can totally make microwave popcorn on the stove, is beyond amazing. Living a microwave-less lifestyle for the past 10 months hasn’t made me a better person or given me hippie green visions of enlightenment. But life without a microwave has certainly made me more aware of how freaking long it takes to boil stuff on the stove! Continue reading “The Reinhard Chronicles: Life Without a Microwave”
Look! Look! Look! You guys I got nominated for the Brotherhood of the World Bloggers Award! A fellow blogger, A- from Simply Lovely 90 nominated me for the award, and I’m so thankful and happy and excited! Go check out her blog! She blogs about everything from Beauty to Fashion to Fitness. This kinds of awards are the BEST because they promote blogs and their writers and bring awareness to all kinds of content! Continue reading “Brotherhood of the World Blogger Award”
I had planned on posting this on Monday, but got hit with the plague (sore throat, headache, snuffly nose, and coughing fits ranging from “dainty” to “old hag”). I’ve been sipping tea and trying my best not to overdose on cough drops, if that’s even a thing, in the hopes to bounce back enough to actually enjoy my day off. Continue reading “New Years Goals”
If you didn’t already know, I’ve been struggling this summer. I’ve gotten easily frustrated and fed up with processes that work too slow, and wind up feeling defeated and deflated. Here’s an excerpt from something I jotted down while in a serious decline:
“What am I doing? I feel like I ask myself this question a lot. At the moment, I’m a photographer for Camp Sandy Cove. While I love being back at camp, I’ve found myself already in a rut of “in-between”. What is an “in-between” rut? Well, sit back, grab a drink, and I’ll tell you. An “in-between” rut is when you hate everything. You shouldn’t, but for a split second that makes absolutely no sense, everything is useless including yourself. You hate the grass and the pavement and your own shoes and people in general. You mostly hate yourself though, because everything seems to have come from nowhere and it makes you tired and sad for no reason. It makes you question everything you do. Those of you who might confuse this with depression would be wrong. Depression would be when you question your very existence and when this feeling continues for longer than a few hours. A rut usually only lasts anywhere from 60 minutes to 24 hours.
I’m tired. So incredibly tired. The kind of tired that seeps in through your lungs and grabs you and rips you to shreds. I have no problem admitting any of this. I’m tired. But it’s not that kind of physical exhaustion you get from running around all day and taking pictures of small children. And pretending to have the energy of ten people that you obviously haven’t had in quite a while.
It’s a mental and spiritual exhaustion. A soul exhaustion that feels like everything good has just been completely wiped from the planet. All you can hope for and all you can pray for is just to make it back to your bed. I’m at a point where I just don’t care. And caring usually keeps me alive. I want to lay down in the wet grass of the soccer field and just be. Who knew I would miss the freedom that comes with being able to even do that much? Working six days a week at camp doesn’t really allow that behavior, because even on your off day, camp is thrumming with children. Compete with their whining and their screams and their “you’re in my personal space” banter.
Maybe the sun is sucking it all away. Maybe the heat and the exhaustion mix to form a messy cocktail of emotions that leave me tired and aching for something else. I keep waiting for the eminent breakdown, with tears and some horrible mental break that drives me off the edge. It hasn’t come yet. The waiting is almost as bad as the break.”
If that doesn’t give you a hint of where I’ve been at this summer, I don’t know what will. Feeling exhausted even after a good 8-9 hours of sleep, waiting for impending break down. As the summer has sprawled on, my emotional state hasn’t gotten better.
Since Chesh is my boss, that means he walks and talks me through my mid-summer evaluation. Over-all, his comments were that I was doing well at my job but needed some tweaking in certain areas. One of those things was my attitude. His comment was that while around the campers I was high energy and high smile; a good attitude and engaging. As soon as the office door closed, though, I became a grumpy, sassy, complaining person that was downright depressing.
“We need to work on that.” He said.
“I’m exhausted,” I admitted, grumbling my way into a slouch on the armchair. “And I don’t want to do this anymore. I feel worked to my limit and even though we get a day off, it never feels restful. I don’t feel re-charged. I keep waking up tired.”
“That’s what I mean. We need to work on finding something that makes you more than just happy, but gives you the re-charge you need to get through the summer.”
After a while of contemplation about this (I ended up being placed on the shuttle that Sunday, which meant a solid 8 hours as co-pilot to think things through and mull over possible ideas), I figured out it was my joy. I was certainly happy on my day off, and happy when the wifi worked, and happy when I got to use a golf cart to get around camp, but there wasn’t joy. I suppose I should say there still isn’t joy, since as I write this, I’m still working it through myself.
What brings me joy? I’ve been trying to figure it out. I think there’s a difference between those “little happys” and true joy. A little happy would be a surprise oreo cookie, or a late night trip to IHOP. These are beautiful things in and of themselves, but they offer a happy relief that usually doesn’t last very long. I need to find out what brings me joy and not just happiness.
If you have any ideas, let me know. This is a journey, after all!
After my last post, someone had commented on my Facebook page saying how much they were looking forward to reading more episodes of the Reinhard Chronicles. And since I loved that title so much, I think I’ll turn that into a thing. Being a wife is such a huge part of my life now, why not share the stuff I’m learning? And thus, let The Reinhard Chronicles begin. Continue reading “The Reinhard Chronicles”
If you are unfamiliar with it, the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an “introspective self-report questionnaire designed to indicate psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.” You might have taken the test for a class or even a job (I’ve taken it for a camp I worked at and for two separate college classes). The test consists of four personality traits to compose your own individualistic introspective understanding of why you do the things you do. There are four possible pairs of personality traits: Introversion (I) or Extroversion (E), Intuition (N) or Sensing (S), Thinking (T) or Feeling (F), and Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).
If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m an ENFP. An Extroverted iNtuition Feeling Perceiver. To help you understand this even a little bit more, here are a couple pics to explain:
Not going to lie, I’m extremely proud to be an ENFP. I don’t have ducks in rows, but I have squirrels at a rave. I promise not to forget and then I forget. I forget what I was talking about in mid sentence. I get magical crazy beautiful ideas that never go anywhere. ENFP’s are the perfect ambivert: I absolutely love people!!! until I hate them all. I want to make beds out of marshmallows and duct tape myself to the wall for fun. I hate making snap decisions or being told what to do. I talk to myself out loud when my brain is too full to think. If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing, the chances of me doing that thing automatically drops to zero. There is no limit to what I can accomplish when I’m supposed to be doing something else (AKA my entire college career). I pack two hours before a trip, and unpack three months after getting back. I aggressively care about you but don’t want to be clingy about it. I alternate between procrastination and perfectionism. I’m indecisive because I see eight sides to everything. I contradict myself a lot.
I could go on. There are some FANTASTIC little memes and gifs and lists for every type of personality.
“But Hannah!” You ask. “What is Cheshire’s personality? He doesn’t really seem like much of an ENFP (from reading his blog). How does that work out?”
Whelp, let me tell you.
My dear lovely Chesh is an INTJ (Introvert Intuition Sensing Judger), which if you hadn’t noticed, is almost the EXACT opposite as myself. They do say that opposites attract. This article is actually great at summarizing how our similarities and differences work and don’t work. Because we know how important it is to anticipate probelms we might have before we ever get to them, Chesh and I talked about this extensively in our meeting with our pre-marital counselor. Dr. David Olshine, who loves looking at people’s personality traits and how they relate to each other.
As I read through the article mentioned above, I found myself nodding a lot. Take one look at the differences between my blog and Cheshire’s and it’s pretty obvious. My ENFP personality is very bouncy and feels a lot of feelings out loud. I’m a dreamer who keeps my head in the clouds most days. The articles I write about I try and keep upbeat and funny, and when I do write about serious things, the post focus more on the emotional side rather than the cognitive. Cheshire’s INTJ personality os a bit more grounded. While he is still a dreamer, he can be much more focused on the actions to be taken to get the dream done. He processes internally and therefore his articles tend to be very introspective and get you thinking. (See the difference between the Feeler and the Thinker?)
Below is an excerpt from the article talking about why ENFPs fall for INTJs (and vice versa).
ENFPs and INTJs may only share one letter preference in common (N for intuition) however, they share two common cognitive functions; Introverted Feeling and Extraverted Thinking (see above). This means that both ENFPs and INTJs not only perceive the world through intuition, they also have a common feeling and thinking function, although in a separate order. Where the ENFP will have a higher knowledge and awareness of his/her own emotions and values, the INTJ will have a higher awareness of the logical approach and efficient task completion. If you look at the cognitive function image, you can see that INTJs use Fi in the tertiary position, only one step down from the ENFPs position. The same goes for Extraverted Thinking, the ENFP has Te in the tertiary position, only one step down from the INTJs Te.
Ok so I know that sounded kind of complicated, but when I can better understand myself and how I work, while at the same time seeking to better understand Cheshire and how he works, we are recognizing pieces of us that make the relationship stronger, as well as the pieces that make us clash.
If you haven’t taken the Myers-Briggs, I highly recommend you do. Understanding yourself and how you work can be extremely beneficial into understanding certain tenancies and traits that make you, you! Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can help you with jobs, every day life, how you interact with friends and family, and how you play a role in society. You have certain gifts and talents that might have a bigger impact than you know. You also have weaknesses that could cause you trouble (and even pain).
In my opinion, the 16 Personalities website is one of the best Myers-Briggs tests out there, that not only gives you the option for detailed answers, but also is great at explaining the strengths and weakness you may have. It’s also totally FREE so you aren’t having to fork over cash or create an account just to better understand yourself. It’s also a great tool to better understand your significant other, or even friends and family. Sometimes recognizing the ‘why’ can help mend relationships, or harness each other’s strengths to create a better community.
Boom! There it is. I hope it helped. And let me know what YOU are! I love seeing how beautifully different we are and how together we make the world go ’round.